I suppose every person must reconcile Pluto’s standing in
our solar system at some point. That frozen sphere on the outskirts of our
neighborhood has been a source of speculation for the better part of the last
two decades after scientists first indicated that Pluto might not, in fact, be
a planet. In an age where identity is everything, this change in planetary
designation dwarfs any concerns about bathrooms signage or pronoun usage we
mere humans can manage.
Two great scholars of our time have tackled the issue. The
first I was aware of was Les Grobstein.
Anyone who works nights knows that there is a different
rhythm to the world when you are awake while the rest of the world is asleep.
My shifts at SVM were a strange combination of second and third shift, and
often I was driving home at 2 AM or 3 AM, and the voice riding along with me
was the Les Grobstein, the overnight host for 670 AM The Score, the sports talk radio
station based out of Chicago.
Grobstein, 69, who died on Sunday, was an eccentric callback
to radio days of yore. He spent most of his shows taking calls from the eclectic
night birds of the upper Midwest between dropping detailed accounts of any and
every sporting event of the last fifty years. Grobstein had an encyclopedic
memory, and he never hesitated to display it. He had antiquated radio bits like
“Bum of the Week” and sometimes a caller’s joke was lost on him, but it all fit
into the overnight vibe beautifully. He did the show five nights a week, often
from 10 PM to 5 AM, and often, he did them alone. In contrast, most of the
daytime hosts have three hour shows and they are often two-person on-air crews
with a slough of support staff and guests.
I met Grobber twice in my days as a sports scribe, both
times at Soldier Field. One time I rode the elevator to the press box with him,
admiring the vintage tape recorder he slung over his shoulder. He talked a lot,
including an unusual amount of swearing for a guy that spent so much time on
the air, but he was affable and friendly to every face in the media box whether
they worked for the Chicago Tribune or a little paper like SVM.
Anyways, Grobber was the biggest proponent of Pluto, never
hesitating to ridicule a caller or any scientist that dared deprive that
glorious sphere of its title as a planet. He would get legitimately upset about
the issue, something I must confess to never truly understanding. Perhaps, a
change like this disrupted some coding in Grobber’s encyclopedic mind. Maybe he
was just passionate about the planet. Or maybe, like so many of us, it just
feels like this world and universe too often changes too much and too fast. We
want to cling on to everything that was fact and feel assured that it will be
fact for eons after we’re gone. Maybe it gives us comfort, hoping that our
own memory will have a similar lasting standing.
Here is a link to Grobber talking about Pluto: Boers and Bernstein: Les Grobstein Discusses Pluto's Dwarf Planet Status - YouTube
I don’t think Grobber had to worry about his place in the sports solar system. From the outpouring of support
on social media, it's easy to see he’s left an indelible impact on the sports scene in Chicago
and around the country. I know he’ll always be part of the wealth of memories
I’ll keep from my time at SVM.
Oh, the other scholar to tackle the Pluto issue. Well,
another Illinoisian, of course. John Prine. He handled it with a little more
humor in the song “The Lonesome Friends of Science.” I think a bit from the
lyrics is an appropriate way to end this post. Goodnight, Grobber. I look
forward to tuning you in on the other side.
Poor old planet Pluto
now
He never stood a chance no how
When he got uninvited to
The interplanetary dance
Once a mighty planet there
Now just an ordinary star
Hanging out in Hollywood
In some old funky sushi bar
The lonesome friends
of science say
The world will end most any day
Well, if it does, then that's okay
'Cause I don't live here anyway
I live down deep inside my head
Well, long ago I made my bed
Link to the song:
