Thursday, July 31, 2025

My Music Journal 2025: July 31, 2025

 


Thursday, July 31, 2025

Time: 7:42 A.M.
Song: Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise
Artist: The Avett Brothers
Mode of Consumption: Listening to MP3s on the way to work.

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/7Kho44itYaCQZvZQVV2SLW?si=b5b9a42eb80442cb

 I finished Wally Lamb’s “The Hour I First Believed” this morning, taking time to read the Afterword and Author Notes while riding the exercise bike. It was the fourth book of Lamb’s that I’ve read, and by far, this was the most challenging.

Coming in at 740 pages, this hard-cover tome was written in the late 1990s to the mid-2000s, and included vivid details of the Columbine School massacre, allusions to 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and pretty much every other terrible thing that happened during that era.

The story is told through an aging English teacher, whose nurse wife survives Columbine only to get hooked on prescription pain killers and then kills a boy accidently while driving under the influence.

There are discussions of historical and current treatment of imprisoned women, the division of the Civil War, dark family secrets, and more than I can or care to type.

I’ve been a fan of Lamb’s novels, but I struggled with this one. The topics were heavy and as the protagonist was bludgeoned by all these terrible events it was easy to sink into the darkness with him. Maybe it just wasn’t the sort of book to read in the summer.

It resolves somewhat happily, but the lingering reminders of the events from that era only shed light on how we’ve arrived at the current divide in this country. It’s hard to grasp the hope provided at the end, when you see the country still suffering in misery.

I picked a Flash Fiction collection as my next read, and soon after, I had advanced in the NYC Midnight Flash Fiction contest.


My Music Journal 2025: July 30, 2025

 


Wednesday, July 30, 2025

Time: 5:25 P.M.
Song: Fall
Artist: Mayu Wakisaka
Mode of Consumption: Listening to MP3s on the way home from work.

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/6tltxXj6BDHeao4rPovSpQ?si=16f5122426624c2d

Before switching my digital library to the Mini-SD Card in my phone, I went through a couple different MP3 players. The first I had was my favorite.

I bought it at Best Buy, and it had a nice sized digital screen. It lasted a long time even though its limited storage size meant I think I had to stick around a thousand songs uploaded.

When it eventually died, I bought a new MP3 player online. It was shaped a lot like Apple’s I-Pod, and it was red. The screen was smaller, and I don’t remember liking it as much as the first one even though I think it had more memory.

It also came with a handful of uploaded songs. I assume it was some sort of deal struck by the artist’s record companies and whoever made the MP3 player. None of the artists were brand names, and as far as I know, none of the songs became hit singles.

This song was one of them, and no matter how many songs I put on, this would be the first to play whenever I reset the shuffle. Most of the time I skipped it, but I always listened to the opening piano chords. They are simple but striking.

When I moved to the Mini-SD card, I moved this song and the others over. I am not sure why, other than I guess it serves as a reminder of where I come from in my musical journey.  


Tuesday, July 29, 2025

My Music Journal 2025: July 29, 2025

 



Tuesday, July 29, 2025

Time: 8:45 AM
Song: Keeping Me Awake
Artist: Tarkio
Mode of Consumption: Listening to the Playlist Pandemonium Artist Spotlight of The Decemberists.

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/5nFVu9nlqBxOjkzuQZ2F4Z?si=3d49fca888574068

I hit pause on the playlist and wonder where on it I was. It was nearing the time for a weekly meeting at work, and I had spent the first hour or so catching up on emails from missing two and half days of work. 

I followed that by preparing the weekly to-do list for the proposal group. It’s a task of erasing tasks completed the week before and then adding new requests. 

My focus was such that I hadn’t really listened to the music playing. 

Like this song. It’s one of the three that I contributed to the playlist, and I had completely missed it along with my other two selections – “All Arise!” and “The Crane Wife 3.” 

You may ask why is a song by the band Tarkio in a playlist for The Decemberists? 

Well, Colin Meloy got his start with Tarkio before graduating to The Decemberists. Our group allows any other projects by band members as part of the Pandemonium Playlist.

The funny thing is that I discovered this song sometime on Spotify and enjoyed it. It was probably about the same time I discovered The Decemberists. Both were during my days at the newspaper where I would just let Spotify play about anything and it turned out to be a lot of modern Americana music. 

Yet, I know that I didn’t make the connection right away between Tarkio and The Decemberists even though Meloy has a pretty distinctive voice. 

Of course, I probably had the song on in the background a dozen times like today, where I might have heard it, but didn’t really listen because I was distracted. 

My Music Journal 2025: July 28, 2025

 


Monday, July 28, 2025

Time: 9:10 PM
Song: Hurt
Artist: Johnny Cash
Mode of Consumption: Playing as a bumper returning from commercial on Cubs’ radio.

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/28cnXtME493VX9NOw9cIUh?si=5a68576521944d6c

The producer for Cubs’ radio likely picked “Hurt” because the Cubs had just lost to the Brewers in the opener of a three-game set between the two top teams in the NL Central. I know that I have heard them use “Hurt” after close of other loses.

Even though the Cubs lost, I couldn’t muster much feeling for it.

About a half hour earlier, the team had announced that Ryne Sandberg had died after a long battle with pancreatic cancer.

Jodi and I were sitting at the dining room table working on projects for the fair.

“Oh man,” Jodi said.

“Yeah, it’s been a rough few days for my childhood heroes.”

Sandberg was my favorite baseball player in the late 1980s and early 1990s. When he retired suddenly in 1994, I was twelve years old, and I cried while listening to the press conference.

His death comes only a few days after the passing of Hulk Hogan.

If there was one thing I did more than collecting baseball cards in my youth, it was watching Hulk Hogan wrestle. One of the highlights in my mind from a kid was the day that my dad came home with a VHS player, because then I could rent all the WWF videos at video store. Before that, we had a Beta, and the wrestling tapes weren’t released on that platform.

While Sandberg’s image never tarnished after his retirement, Hogan did have his share of issues away from the ring, but I can’t erase the feelings I had when I eight or ten or twelve.

A big part of my youth is gone. Sometimes getting older hurts. It’s better than the alternative, but it hurts.


Monday, July 28, 2025

My Music Journal 2025: July 27, 2025


 

Sunday, July 27, 2025

Time: 3:03 PM
Song: The Space Between
Artist: Dave Matthews Band
Mode of Consumption: Listening to the radio somewhere between LaCrosse, Wisconsin and Prairie Du Chien.

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/65KzDXZm9aQt8sA1k0ZVG3?si=6eb4c8ecb1c24fc0

The detour sign on The Great River Road was disheartening when we met it about 25 miles from Prairie Du Chien. Little did we know that it would begin what felt like a never-ending twisting-turning sojourn through southwest Wisconsin and then into northwestern Illinois.

The opening volley was the roadblock that turned our general direction from south and east to north and west. It’s the sort of change when your just over halfway home that sinks into the stomach.

We had left Red Wing by 8 AM, and traveled comfortably until we made it to Winona, Minnesota, at about 10. There we found an antique store that we spent a good hour and a half wandering through. Then we skipped down to LaCrosse without any issue where we stopped for lunch at an A&W. 

It was the detour that got us just when I think we were all ready to put miles behind us and get home. 

It had been a good trip, a fun trip, but we were all anxious to get back home and tackle the list of chores that needed to be done. 

Then the detour. That cost us at least an hour. 

In Prairie Du Chien, Jodi took over the driving so I could get us from there to Galena, Illinois. 

There is no direct route, and the path that Google Maps took us seemed to the most rural and winding path possible. It was almost 5 PM when we got there and there’s still an hour of driving to get to our destination.  

My Music Journal 2025: July 26, 2025

 


Saturday, July 26, 2025

Time: 11:03 AM
Song: Act Naturally
Artist: The Beatles
Mode of Consumption: Playing at Vintage Vinyl in Red Wing, MN. 

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/0IxxqsYBcCHEQ1HqLYJnwx?si=79e62e0c32444b3e

This was the second time that I had been in this record store. The first time was four years ago when we were in Red Wing as part of a trip for my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary. The shop stands out in my mind because they order their records by the first name of the artist. 

I am flipping through the “J” section hoping to find a copy of John Prine’s first album. Behind me a patron, a guy who clearly is a regular, is talking to the proprietor. 

“You know they let Ringo sing more than you think,” the patron said, referring to the song playing. “This isn’t bad. Of course, Buck Owens wrote this.”

The conversation continues and I am too distracted to follow along, except I hear the patron restate, “Buck Owens wrote this.” 

Then the proprietor begins:

“I moved around my blues and jazz room a little.” He breaks down the layout more. It’s the kind of conversation I can imagine having if I were a record store owner. 

“Well, yeah, I imagine there’s a fair amount of people that come in here looking for that,” the patron says. 

I move around the store some more, thinking the used vinyl is a bit overpriced. Of course, they have more overhead to cover than a guy like me does who simply buys lots and then flips the albums at garage sales. 

Something is brought up about Bad Bunny behind me. 

“You’re a record store owner, you probably know who Bad Bunny is.” 

The store owner doesn’t seem to be very familiar with Bad Bunny. I find that odd, considering he doesn’t appear to be that old of a guy. 

I think if the world was limited to record store conversations, we’d probably be in better shape. 

Sunday, July 27, 2025

My Music Journal 2025: July 25, 2025

 




Friday, July 25, 2025

Time: 3:35 PM
Song: Kansas City
Artist: Wilbert Harrison
Mode of Consumption: Listening to a band playing at The Little Log House Pioneer Antique Power Show

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/4GvyP7CnBJEV2t7L7vOkjw?si=675eb9c8a9fe4825

Jodi, her mother, Kathy, and I were taking a respite in the shade at The Little Log House Pioneer Antique Power Show in Hastings, Minnesota. It had been a fun day, but also one filled with a lot of walking, warm temperatures and lots of sun. Sitting for a few minutes felt good while we listened to a band play a variety of classic songs. 

They were a trio – a guitarist, a bass, and an accordion player. We had listened to two or three songs when they started playing “Kansas City.” 

“Dare me to dance,” Kathy said to Jodi, and Jodi had barely got the dare out before Kathy was on her way toward the stage. She found a flat space before the stage and band and started line dancing by herself. 

When the song ended she received a nice ovation from the crowd and the band. 

Line dancing is something that Kathy took up shortly after retiring about a decade ago or so. She goes to three different line dancing groups a week. It’s good exercise for her physically and learning and remembering the steps are one of the things that keep her mentally sharp. 

After her husband passed away in 2023, dancing also became one of the ways that she was able move forward even with her heart heavy. It’s something she looks forward to, and she has gained a group of friends for support. 

Now, she can also stand up before a large group of strangers and dance alone. That in itself is a brave thing to do. 

My Music Journal 2025: July 24, 2025

 



Thursday, July 24, 2025

Time: 4:03 PM
Song: Girl in the War
Artist: Josh Ritter
Mode of Consumption: Listening to MP3s on shuffle while driving to Red Wing, Minnesota.

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/2XQ6xhvd1q5JQyY21F198g?si=a87a42ec922343cd

We are driving through Stewartville, Minnesota, a town that I’ve never been to before so far as I know. 

We are listening to this song, a song that I must have at least sampled once in order to put it into my digital library. I remember the album. I bought it at sale sometime over the last year or two. I know I listened to the album at least once. I think I even kept it. 

But, I don’t specifically remember this song. I like it, and I like that it’s playing while we are traveling for vacation. 

There’s nothing very distinctive about Stewartville, at least not driving through the main drag on Route 63. It has the usual collection of fast food chains and shopping centers. The truly unique features of the town likely tucked away on side streets. 

So, now the two – the town and the song - will be connected in time and place for me. Although, always as passersby to something more special. 

Stewartville was just another town on the map. Not the destination, just something that had to be endured. We were headed to a weekend in Red Wing, Minnesota, where we would be spending time with Jodi’s mother and her brother and sister-in-law. 

As for the song, it stood out in that moment because it was different. It just probably won’t ever become a song that tops any my personal lists. I was glad to get to a song I knew the words to that I could sing along with. 

Wednesday, July 23, 2025

My Music Journal 2025: July 23, 2025

 


Wednesday, July 23, 2025

Time: 6:07 AM
Song: Goodbye to Romance
Artist: Ozzy Osbourne
Mode of Consumption: Listening to MP3s on shuffle while riding stationary bike.

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/44iFQNDCVfv2WHPdn7Wy1R?si=6e07cd2586d849db

I remember when I first really started to dive into Ozzy Osbourne music in high school, I was surprised how a guy with a moniker like the “Prince of Darkness” could also have such sweet, ballad-like songs in his catalog like this one and “Mama, I’m Coming Home.”

Although if you look at a contemporary in Alice Cooper, he also has some solid ballads like “Only Women Bleed,” and “I Never Cry.”

I imagine there are a lot of reasons for this.

Songs like this were more likely to get played on Top-40 radio stations, so it allowed hard rockers like this to expand their audience.

It probably allows the band to catch their breath during concerts when they are playing a series of harder rockers. Might even be a break for the fans. The same could be true on albums.

The increased instrumentation harkens back to bands like the Beatles from the 60s when guys like Ozzy and Alice Cooper were in their late teens and early twenties. It’s obvious this was an influence on them. I remember an interview probably 25 years ago where Ozzy said that he still hadn’t made his “Sgt. Peppers.”

Whatever reason, Ozzy’s range from hard rock to ballad is one of the reasons he gained mainstream popularity that continued until his death yesterday. There likely won’t be another musician or entertainer quite like him.


My Music Journal 2025: July 22, 2025

 



Tuesday, July 22, 2025

Time: 6:20 PM
Song: Dead Flowers
Artist: The Rolling Stones
Mode of Consumption: Listening to “Sticky Fingers” album on vinyl.

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/3oJtUnnt5uYPtzulIbLw3D?si=9e8c3a43a8d24bc2

This has been a week with a series of lists in my head as we near a weekend trip to Minnesota.

At work, I have three proposals I am trying to get completed, approved and sent to clients. That in addition to monitoring the other members of the proposal group and tackling anything new that might come into the email.

At home, it’s been a blur. Mow the yard – completed most of it on Monday but have another half hour or so to finish.

Remove the temporary fiberglass fence posts we put up around the horse yard. A new fence was installed on Monday, also.

Move some gates from the horse yard.

Get the laundry from the basement.

Go to the bank.

Get directions for the weekend.

Work on fair projects.

Pack.

Write journal posts (feel like I have been a day or two behind all week).

It seems like whenever I check one off there are three more things to do and half the time to do them.

I saw a headline earlier that scientists think the earth is spinning faster this summer. No kidding.


Tuesday, July 22, 2025

My Music Journal 2025: July 21, 2025

 


Monday, July 21, 2025

Song: Dreams
Artist: Fleetwood Mac
Mode of Consumption: Listening to MP3s on shuffle on the way home from work.

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/0ofHAoxe9vBkTCp2UQIavz?si=c2fdc8e5a46e47ca

After eating a big meal comprised of tacos, fajitas, refried beans, rice, and chips & salsa at the wedding reception Sunday night and washing it down with a Mexican Mule, a beer, and a shot of tequila, I slept strangely.

First, I struggled to get to sleep. I think I simply had too much fuel in the old system to go into hibernation. I probably should have exercised, or at least, danced more at the reception. I should have followed that with some water and a few minutes of reading.

Second, when I did sleep, it was in what like short bursts where I would plunge into REM slip and fevered dreams of mishmashes of images, feelings, people and thoughts.

Then just as quickly, I’d be out, back awake, staring into the dark in a stupor of confusion. Sometimes the veil between consciousness and the dreamworld seemed so thin that I wasn’t even sure that I hadn’t just fallen into a realistic dream where I was laying in my bed.

That continued seemingly until the last hour before waking, which is, of course, when I sank into a deep dreamless sleep, only waking because my internal clock said it was time to get up.

Of course, all I wanted to do was drop my head back on the pillow and drift back into the dark.


Monday, July 21, 2025

My Music Journal 2025: July 20, 2025

 


Sunday, July 20, 2025

Time: 7:35 PM
Song: Pink Pony Club
Artist: Chappell Roan
Mode of Consumption: Dancing at a cousin’s wedding reception.

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/1k2pQc5i348DCHwbn5KTdc?si=b2d6bd34d1dc4df4

One song changed to another, and it was hard to tell if the beat and melody was different than the song before. Dang it, I’m that guy now. The old guy that doesn’t hear newer songs well enough.

Jodi knew this one.

“We have the top hits station on at work a lot,” she said. “I hear these songs a lot.”

The dance floor is admirably filled mostly by kids twenty years or more younger than me. The lights were dimmed. Most of them had a foam sticks in their hands that blinked a rainbow of colors, creating a dizzying blur of color and sound.

This was the second wedding of summer on my side of the family. The playlist for this one was geared a little more to the younger crowd, but it did kick off with an “anniversary” dance to “Stand By Me.”

This is a popular feature at weddings where all the married couples start on the floor and then are eliminated as the DJ announces years of marriage at intervals of five years. At 17 years, we left when 20 years was called.

My parents and my aunt and uncle were the last two couples remaining. My parents were married in 1972, and my aunt and uncle were married in 1970.

It was a nice image as a large portion of the groom’s family had come from those two couples.


My Music Journal 2025: July 19, 2025

 


Saturday, July 19, 2025

Time: 8:10 PM
Song: Rock’n Me
Artist: Steve Miller Band
Mode of Consumption: Watching a Kia commercial during a Cubs game.

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/1orVKbp6vqtfAPOmvRofVq?si=0a94404691374f60

Once upon a time, artists resisted having their songs appear in ads. The trailblazers of the 1960s that turning their songs into jingles cheapened the original art.

That sort of faded during the 1990s and as the decades have progressed, pretty much all artists have taken the paycheck that commercials offer.

So, hearing a Steve Miller Band song in a Kia commercial wasn’t that surprising, and it’s not like I am especially connected to the Steve Miller Band that it offended me to hear “Rock’n Me bastardized and softened to fit the needs of selling cars.

What caught my attention was that it was a Steve Miller song, and that it was the second time in a week that I had heard something about him.

Last week, Miller canceled his U.S. Tour citing that extreme weather made it too dangerous to tour.

A few things about this:

  • I didn’t know that Steve Miller toured anymore, or that he did it so extensively that it was routinely interrupted by weather.
  • I’m not a climate denier. I’ve read enough and watched enough and even studied it some twenty-some-odd years ago to understand that not only is the climate changing, but it’s doing so at a faster rate than it has in the past, and the clearest variable to cause this is the wild growth of human population and man-made technology.
  • I would still wager that Steve Miller and his band probably could navigate these weather events successfully.
  • So, what am I saying? I think Steve Miller wanted to stop touring.


Friday, July 18, 2025

My Music Journal 2025: July 18, 2025

 



Friday, July 18, 2025

Time: 4:23 PM
Song: You’re Gone
Artist: Uncle Tupelo
Mode of Consumption: Listening “Release Radar” on Spotify.

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/3Rf7lj0sNBomD4thfLjO7t?si=13bb477802094db5

Well, here’s a mystery.

In my Release Radar, the song “You’re Gone” appears by Uncle Tupelo. When I click on it, it takes me to a screen showing this as a single released in 2025. Hmmm.

My little knowledge about the band who was an underground alternative country group in the 1990s is that the two main figures in the group – Jeff Tweedy and Jay Farrar – would never reunite.

I had heard nothing to alter that belief that past few months or years.

Tweedy was still going strong as a frontman for Wilco, and as a solo act often working/performing with his son. Farrar has had minor, but steady success in Son Volt.

Let’s go to the Google machine. Did Uncle Tupelo reunite to release a song?

Nothing appears other than minor notes that this song was set to be released on July 17, 2025.

Maybe it’s an old song maybe that got lost in the shuffle back in the day that the group decided to release. It seems like that would appear in Google though. I don’t know, I like Uncle Tupelo, but I am far from an expert on their catalog.

A new collaboration though certainly would have attracted music writers and bloggers. Heck, I might be the first person to write about it, and I hardly consider myself a music writer.

Update: I decided to look on Twitter and it appears this could be AI generated. How Spotify allows someone to post a song with a band's name on it that they didn't create is beyond me. 

My Music Journal 2025: July 17, 2025

 



Thursday, July 17, 2025

Time: 5:40 PM
Song: Who Can It Be Now?
Artist: Men at Work
Mode of Consumption: Listening to “Business As Usual” album on vinyl while eating supper.

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/5rfJ2Bq2PEL8yBjZLzouEu?si=8a0cb7cdcc914b26

For most of this week, I have been watching a Marketplace posting on Facebook for 3,200 records. They are located about an hour away. It appears to be a good and well-kept collection of rock and country.

But 3,200 records is a lot of records, and even though I think the cost is reasonable, it’s still a lot to pay and it would take a long time to recoup.

Plus, where would I put them?  

“This is a lot I would buy if we were actually going to open a store,” I tell Jodi.

She’s been rather coy about the whole thing, knowing part of me just wants her to tell me “No.” Instead, she’s admitted it could be an investment. Perhaps, we could store them at the church. There’s a room there that no one really uses. She’s the devil.

We’ve joked about opening a record store for a while. When an old restaurant on the north side of Sterling closed, I told her that would be a great location. It was an old barn with two floors. The bottom floor could include a bakery and coffee shop. The second floor was more of a banquet room, and we thought we could make that an evening listening lounge and maybe even sell some alcohol. It was located near one of the first roundabouts in the area, so I thought we could call it “Roundabout Records.” The price tag was high for the building, and we assumed there would need to be renovations.

There’s a building in Morrison we talked about. That one might be “Mustang Records,” after the mascot of the high school.

We even joked about if the church were to close (not a funny joke since we have such sparse attendance), we could buy that building and call it “DiVinyls.” I think I would have a hard time converting the church where both of us grew up into a record shop.

Of course, all of this is pipe dreams and fantasy. A record shop would likely be a losing proposition and we both have secure jobs.

So, where would I put 3,200 records?


Wednesday, July 16, 2025

My Music Journal 2025: July 16, 2025

 


Wednesday, July 16, 2025

Time: 7:44 AM
Song: Devil Inside
Artist: INXS
Mode of Consumption: Listening to MP3s on shuffle on the way to work.

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/3m4OWJ3Ovl0pXwT79bw94N?si=fc3f21c63c4447eb

The car paused at the end of its driveway and then proceeded into the lane in front of me, meaning it probably saw me, and saw that I was close, and decided to pull in front of me anyway.

Then drove slowly.

It happened just now. It happens seemingly every day either on the way to work or on the way home.

It’s like there was a memo at the beginning of the summer that told drivers to disregard oncoming traffic when they are leaving home and hope that other vehicles aren’t so close that they will crash into your driver’s side door or rear fender. It’s your road. It’s your world.

I’m generally a patient man. A calm personality blessed with a reasonable and even charitable mind that allows people the benefit of the doubt.

But these people.

I am considering speeding up, moving into the adjacent lane, and passing them with the horn blaring and middle finger in the air. An even more sinister voice wants to cut in front of them just as I pass, forcing them to brake hard and spin out.

You can shred that memo when you see my fierce orange Jeep Renegade cruising in your direction. Stay in your damn driveway until I pass or feel my wrath.

We reach a stop sign. The car turns in one direction, and I go the other. They are safe this time. So am I.

I wonder what song will come on next.


My Music Journal 2025: July 15, 2025

 


Tuesday, July 15, 2025

Time: 9:05 PM
Song: Sinners & Saints
Artist: George Jones
Mode of Consumption: Listening to MP3s on shuffle on the way home from Write On.

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/720w30MoVUGawm3GuZfFhh?si=9396c30fc0894cc2

It was our Writing Workout session at Write On. Below was our prompt. I had a hankering to write something old west. Please remember I wrote this in 45 minutes, so don’t expect everything to be historically or culturally accurate.

Prompt:

Over the last few months, we have read two selections:

“On the Road” by Cormac McCarthy

“Of Mice and Men” By John Steinbeck

Each selection featured two characters who were dependent upon each other even though it was clear one of the characters was in authority.

Tonight, develop a scene of your own with two characters who are dependent upon each other. This can be anything or anytime or any genre. No other constraints.

---

A hawk circled above the field, gliding in wide arcs with its wings extended, never seeming to flutter. Instead, floating as if the air was water that it bobbed on. Three blackbirds antagonized it, swooping in for brief attacks and dashing away before the bird of prey could snap them with its large talons or iron beak.

“That hawk got something on its mind,” Jed squinted, the brim of his black hat pushed back from his forehead. “Looking to grab something down here.”

“Maybe your nose,” Tayen said. The spirts had carved a hook beak on the man like she’d never seen. Must be a white man’s trait, hooked noses and bad breath. She considered what offense Jed’s ancestors must have committed to receive such a sentence. She thought of her father’s nose, smooth, brown, skinny at the top, widening at the bottom. A memory of tugging on it when she was but a little squaw tickled to the front of her mind, and it made her sad. Her father and her people were all gone now.

“You know they comin’ after me, right?” Jed had dropped to his rear in the tall grass, exhausted from the long hours of walking in the sweltering heat of the sun and field. Just as vexing were the bugs, with his hands tied at the wrist behind his back, he couldn’t swat a single mosquito from his face, which he assumed was now comprised of nothing but festering red bites.

Tayen squatted beside the man, held out a bit of deer jerky she’d produced from her pouch, and then placed it on his tongue before he sucked it in and began chewing with chomps more reminiscent of a steer than a man.

“They’ll kill you if they find us,” Tayen said, before taking a bite of jerky for herself.

“If? If? I thought you people were great trackers! If? Shoot, I bet they are three feet away and we don’t even know it.”

“The Sioux are not my people,” Tayen said.

Jed grinned, he was missing three teeth across the top and even more below.

“You all red on the outside, sweetie,” he spat, “Now, if you gave me my guns, and them Sioux came upon us, then we might stand a chance.”

It was her turn to spit.

“If I give you your guns, you’d kill me and then they’d kill you, that’s the only difference. The Sioux might not like me, but they won’t kill me.”

“They will if you tryin’ to keep them from gettin’ me. That’s why you in trouble. It’s ten more miles before we reach a town’s sheriff that will pay you the ransom, and you need that money, don’t you?”

Above the Hawk still circled, but the black birds seemed to have lost interest in tormenting it. A breeze rustled the prairie grass which was shoulder high and intermixed with bursts of yellow and red and purple from the great wildflowers. Tayen’s mother had been enamored by flowers. Picking them and braiding them in each of her seven daughter’s hair. Tayen had been the youngest. Tayen was the only one left, or the only one free. Lomasi was enslaved to a wealthy banker in Oklahoma. Seven hundred dollars would buy her freedom. Seven hundred dollars was the bounty on Jed’s head.

She forced Jed to his feet and they moved on through the tall grass, away from the cart paths. The white men patrolled the paths, but they’d take Jed from her and collect the bounty for themselves. The Sioux would take secret paths through the grass. It was entirely possible they were already trapped on each side. White on one. Red on the other.

 **

 

Jed had camped the night before near a river bed. He’d burned wet wood at dusk, and she’d made out the white smoke from two miles away. It was why she had him, and not the Sioux and not the county’s deputies.

Taking him had been easy enough, he was snoring like a bear when she circled his camp. He only woke a brief second before she brought a rock down on the side of skull, just hard enough to knock him silly, but not kill him. The “dead” bounty was lower than the “live” bounty in this case.  She bound his hands behind his back as he rocked and moaned in the dirt. She had hoped he’d have a horse, but she wagered he lost it in his encounters with the Sioux.

**

Jed’s head throbbed the entire night and day as they tumbled along. Him a few feet ahead of her, her hand never leaving the butt of his revolver. The nerve of this Indian woman to take him captive and then wear his guns. He wondered if she even knew how to shoot one. A lesser woman he would have tested more. This one had the look that she’d spilt some blood in her time, and that spilling his wouldn’t weigh on her soul other than the loss of some money.

He was sure he’d been in worse jams before, but he couldn’t recall when. Maybe that mix up with the Spanish down there in Texas. That had been pretty bad. At least there, he’d had allies. Now, everyone seemed to want him dead.

The town folk wanted him for robbing banks. Yeah, he’d done that, but lost most of the money running from the posse on his trail.

The Sioux wanted him for killing that young brave. He done that, but he hadn’t wanted to.

And this woman. This strange Indian woman might have wanted her bounty, but her eyes told him that she was eager to watch him hang.

She was his key. The only way to get out of this alive was this woman, and he had pretty much reckoned how he was going to convince her.

The gold. He knew where it was, and he knew she needed it worse than he did.


Tuesday, July 15, 2025

My Music Journal 2025: July 14, 2025

 


Monday, July 14, 2025

Time: 8:47 PM
Song: Take Me to the River
Artist: Talking Heads
Mode of Consumption: Playing on the radio.

Link to the song: https://open.spotify.com/track/1oV1tu8utgHQjLJsEK9sVl?si=88201c8923d24803

I believe I’ve mentioned here before that I am not a mechanical man. Tonight, it was a battle with a chainsaw.

It works. It really does.

It just takes me about a half hour to get it going. I pulled the string over and over, and it puttered but wouldn’t kick over.

All I needed to do was cut a couple old fence posts, plus one small branch that had fallen from a tree recently. Ten minutes of work, tops.

It wasn’t hot out, but warm enough that a film of sweat built up. When I get hot, I get frustrated. Like swearing-under-my-breath frustrated.

Then with one random pull, it started. Then died. I pulled again. It fired up and then died. The third time it fired up and kept going.

A few cuts later, I was done.

We cut up a few other boards with our miter saws. Much easier process. Once complete, we stacked the wood on our pile for burning.

Jodi walked the dog. I plucked away on my ukelele on the porch.

This song played as I entered a darkening house. Another evening passed.


Sunday, July 13, 2025

My Music Journal 2025: July 13, 2025

 



Sunday, July 13, 2025

Time: 11:45 AM
Song: All I Want is You
Artist: Barry Louis Polisar
Mode of Consumption: Playing over the speakers at Blumen Gardens in Sycamore. 

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/5sIBOrRLBI6ypREdEPj2wQ?si=3b8d07f7a95744ae

I suppose it’s fair to say that I’ve changed over the years. I am not sure if I would have wanted to drive over an hour to a place like Blumen Gardens to look at crafts and plants twenty years ago. Today, I did it without a second thought. It didn’t bother me to go, and I enjoyed looking at the wares even if I wasn’t going to buy any of it. 

Jodi and her mom enjoyed it, and that’s all that matters.

Well, I have to admit that it wasn’t an entirely a self-sacrifice of a Sunday. I had arranged to sell a tote of Victrola records to a guy from St. Charles. 

He had contacted me a week or so earlier, and explained that he had an old Victrola and was always glad to look through a lot like this to see if there was anything he could play. We discovered during our conversation that we were both graduates of Northern Illinois University. He finished about two years after I did. It’s entirely possible we passed each other in the halls or on campus all those years ago. 

After Blumen Gardens, we met him in the parking lot at Portillo’s. He was a tall, skinny man with glasses and well-kept hair. I was in shorts and the Jason Isbell t-shirt I had bought the night before. 

He picked through the box a little. Pointed to a thick one, and said this would play on the machine made by Thomas Edison only. Edison was ahead of his time, making technology that only worked with other technology that he had produced. Apple must have been taking notes. 

He was happy to take the tote of my hands. I was happy to be rid of it. It was heavy and took up space in our basement. More room for me to buy more vinyl that I am interested in.

My Music Journal 2025: July 12, 2025


 

Saturday, July 12, 2025

Time: 9:20 PM
Song: If We Were Vampires
Artist: Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit
Mode of Consumption: Live at concert at Coronado Theatre

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/250RLekaiL1q9qZer975Eg?si=eb7de3c723d24f2e

The band opened this song with their backs to the audience, the stage dark with a pulsating white light. It is a Jason Isbell song that I know, but hadn’t really ever studied. 

As the band turned and played the opening notes, a round of applause broke out to our right. I should say that Jodi and I were in the very back row in the balcony at the Coronado Theatre in Rockford, IL. We were the only ones in the row, pretty much the only ones within twenty feet. We could stretch out and enjoy the show without intruding on any other human’s space. It was nice. 

Back to the applause, a short, wide-shouldered man was rising from his knee in the aisle. He had picked this song to pop the question. It was a bold move. 

It made me pause and listen closer to the lyrics because I assumed he knew them in order to pick that one to propose. Of course, it was possible it was her favorite song, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a good one to commit to a life together with. 

The song is a lament that nothing lasts forever, but in the case of love, perhaps that’s a good thing. I could paraphrase, but I think it’s best to just point out the section that had to be the heart of the proposal:

“Maybe time running out is a gift
I’ll work hard ‘til the end of my shift
And give you every second I can find
And I hope it isn’t me who’s left behind.” 

If you don’t know Isbell, you should look him up. I was thinking while watching the concert, I should put together a quick primer list of songs of Isbell for anyone who asks about him. 

Saturday, July 12, 2025

My Music Journal 2025: July 11, 2025

 



Friday, July 11, 2025

Time: 3:11 PM
Song: Wilder Days
Artist: Morgan Wade
Mode of Consumption: Listening to MP3s on shuffle on way to a vinyl record sale.

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/2vubFQgAJO5SeuVa7ytIHc?si=e03c973451364454

I adjusted my lunch schedule for the last half of the week so I that I could leave work two hours early today to travel to Walnut, Illinois, for a vinyl record sale. 

The Facebook listing mentioned eight boxes of records and a similar amount of CDs for sale located in the alley behind the house. Sounded a little like a drug deal to me. Despite that, it was right up my alley. 

Walnut is south of Dixon and Sterling so I would be making a loop from work to the sale to home, about an hour of driving through about the flattest ground you can find in the Sauk Valley. It’s a landscape pocked with irrigation systems and gigantic windmills. 

The vinyl collection proved to be impressive, comprised mostly of 60s, 70s, and 80s rock with a bit of jazz and miscellaneous artists. Every record had a plastic cover and the purveyor had graded most of the selections by condition. 

As someone who prices vinyl, I thought he had them priced fair, though there were several I thought he was probably a little low on. Those were the ones I honed in on. There was a Hendrix Super Hits, a Sticky Fingers by the Stones and a couple others that I bought for two dollars each. Each had some condition issues with the covers, but I thought they were good deals. 

The CDs were priced individually, but as a rule I try not and pay more than a dollar for a CD. I am most likely just going to rip songs off of it and resell it. It’s hard to sell a CD for more than a dollar. I bought only one of those. 

I spent about a half hour there before paying and pointing the Renegade north for home. By then, dark clouds were rolling in from the west and we prepared to leave for Timber Lake with tickets for a production of “Waitress.”

Thursday, July 10, 2025

My Music Journal 2025: July 10, 2025

 


Thursday, July 10, 2025

Time: 3 PM
Song: Changes
Artist: Langhorne Slim, The Law
Mode of Consumption: Listening to liked songs on Spotify while working.

Link to Song: https://open.spotify.com/track/0fPHfNb0LwKGw3jCKzMk54?si=e32ab81946314c9a

I heard about the term “Doomscrolling” a few years ago when a couple different bands released songs or albums with that in the title. I think one of the bands was Dawes.

Anyway, the act of Doomscrolling is basically looking at your phone or computer screen, most likely social media accounts and scrolling until you find some catastrophe or another. We modern folk have become addicted to the dramatic theater of the internet.

Earlier I typed a few names into Facebook. The few full names I remember from college just to see if they appeared. Some did. Some didn’t. It’s strange seeing these people that I knew for a brief time when they were basically still kids now aged into full-grown adults with spouses and kids.

I can’t imagine a scenario where I’d likely be in the same room with any of these people again. Frankly, I have little desire to be. Nothing against them, but outside of a few minutes of telling old stories, there’s little between them and me. They have their lives, and I have mine.

I don’t know why I took that mental leap from Doomscrolling to snooping on old acquaintances.

I suppose all this is adjusting to this world where we are all connected online. I can access these people instead of just having a rare random thought of them and then spending ten minutes trying to remember their last name.

I finish my break from work with a quick Google of my own name. We used to leave a paper trail – taxes, property sales, obits – but now we have a digital one. I have a unique name which helps, and it pops up a fair amount hits in the search. Old newspaper stories. Publishing credits for fiction stories. This blog (there’s more links to this now thanks to this daily journal). Mentions of my current gig.

I have left a long trail over the last twenty years, and I wonder if any of these old college folks have Googled my name (assuming they remember me and how to spell my last name) and wondered if this writer guy is the guy they knew.


Wednesday, July 9, 2025

My Music Journal 2025: July 9, 2025

 


Wednesday, July 9, 2025

Time: 11:10 AM
Song: Lit Up
Artist: Buckcherry
Mode of Consumption: Listening to Buckcherry’s self-titled album from 1999.

Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/1OBMSzh2ocRqK2gUFaMBSM?si=d96e786451844910

My co-worker, Lindsey, came into my office and exclaimed.

“Buckcherry is going to be in Dixon in October!”

She was excited and bought front-row tickets when sales opened at noon for the show at the Historic Dixon Theater.

I haven’t decided yet if we’ll go, but it is a show that is intriguing.

When I was a freshman in college, I loved this song and album (No, I didn’t love the cocaine, lol). It was an album I popped in whenever I wanted a shot of energy, which was more often as a 19-year-old than now as a 43-year-old.

Their album “15” released in 2006 was also solid and featured their biggest hit “Crazy Bitch,” a song while very infectious I was never that fond of.

Buckcherry is a heavy rocking band capable of dropping a good rock ballad. I sometimes hear Aerosmith in their sound.

I’ve always felt they were about a decade late from being a band that was a household name like Aerosmith or ACDC. By the time they hit the airwaves, radio was losing its stronghold to streaming and bands beyond the most mainstream weren’t able to reach the masses very easily.

Instead, they are a hard rock band that hard rock fans know that will be playing Dixon, a 15,000-people town in Northern Illinois in 2025 rather than stadiums.

On the bright side, that’s good for folks like Lindsey and me.


My Music Journal 2025: August 17, 2025

  Sunday, August 17, 2025 Time: 6:19 PM Song: Underground Blues Artist: Richard Roberts, Jr. Mode of Consumption: Listening to Midwest Revue...