Note: Last night Write On Writing Group prompt was to write a One-act play. This is what I came up with.
Act 1
Scene 1
The interior of a
PitStop Full-Service Station at dusk of a summer night. LEIA, a
twenty-something female with thick-framed glasses and an orange and blue shirt
is behind the counter. MATT, a skinny
nineteen-year-old, is mopping the floor in front of the freezers.
MATT
I bet some guy did this job in the 70s after watching Star Wars, and thought, you know by 2026, there will be a robot cleaning the floors at gas stations, so he could be out having fun.
LEIA
Except he probably never considered that then he wouldn’t have a job and couldn’t afford to have fun.
MATT
You don’t have to have money to have fun. You know, we’re both off tomorrow night, I could show you…
LEIA
I’m not going out with you. Ever.
MATT
Why not?
LEIA
First, you have been out of high school for like two weeks. Maybe you’re legal, but it’s still kind of creepy.
MATT
I have an early birthday, so I am old for my class.
LEIA
Second, I have spent ten hours each of the last four days working within ten feet of you, so the last thing I want to do on my night off is spend it with you. No offense, but I have heard every angle of your latest video game victory seven times already, and I have told you about my roomate’s stinky boyfriend ten times, so I don’t think we have anything more to say to each other.
(MATT puts his head down, moves down the aisle with his mop bucket)
MATT
You know what made me think about Star Wars…
LEIA
Don’t…
MATT
I mean, were your parents really big fans? Did they go on their first date and watch that movie? I know there are fads, but I think you’re the first person I have ever met with the actual name of Leia.
LEIA.
You want the truth?
MATT
Why would I want a lie?
LEIA
Neither of my parents has ever seen Star Wars. They just saw the name in a baby book, didn’t bother to find out if there was a famous fictional princess with that same name, and then doomed me to be drooled over by every dorky teen boy for the next twenty-four years.
MATT
Really?
(A customer enters wearing a ballcap over his eyes and heads to the back of the store where there is a restroom. Matt leans on his broom handle, waiting for the customer to disappear into the restroom.)
MATT
You’re messing with me.
LEIA
Am not. You want to hear another wild one? I haven’t watched Star Wars either. Not one second of the ten billion movies they have made.
MATT
Cripes. (He mops more actively) I don’t think I could date someone who hasn’t seen Star Wars.
LEIA
Is that really all it took? I should have introduced myself with that information, it would have saved me from denying you every night since you started here.
MATT
It hasn’t been every night.
(The bathroom door opens, the customer rushes out with a ski mask on and a knife in his hand. He runs to the counter.)
CUSTOMER
Give me all the money!
LEIA
Are you robbing us with a knife? Hey Matt, this guy is trying to rob us with a knife.
MATT
Is it a long knife?
LEIA
No, normal size.
CUSTOMER
Shut up! Give me the money.
(Matt comes to the front of the store)
MATT
I mean he’ll have to hurdle the counter to even get to you with that thing.
CUSTOMER
Shut up! I’ll come after you.
MATT
Well, I don’t have any money, and I am pretty lethal with this broomstick.
LEIA
Here (she drops small wad of bills on the counter). You can take this for your trouble.
CUSTOMER
What’s that?
LEIA
The money from my drawer.
CUSTOMER
That’s not even a hundred bucks. Where’s the rest of it?
MATT
Hah, this guy thinks there’s more cash. That’s almost as crazy as a girl named Leia never seeing Star Wars.
(the Customer returns his attention to Leia)
CUSTOMER
You haven’t seen Star Wars?
LEIA
Not once. Do you want the money, or not?
CUSTOMER
Is there a safe or something?
LEIA
Hey, it’s 2026, man. Sixty percent of our customers pay at the pump, and of the forty percent who come in, ninety percent of them pay with a card. Only the dinosaurs use money. There’s never more than a hundred dollars in here.
CUSTOMER
What if someone comes in and wants to break a hundred-dollar bill or something?
MATT
SOL. You might as well take a pack of cigarettes or something, because PitStop is going to claim you took over a thousand dollars, whether you did or not.
CUSTOMER
What? That’s not fair.
LEIA
Not fair? You’re at a gas station, you think anything here is fair? We’re all on the bottom rung of a ladder with only a few rungs, but the next rungs are way beyond our reach. Everything here is overpriced, overtaxed, and generally cheaply made. The people profiting are the oil guy, the stockbroker, and the politician.
CUSTOMER
Yeah, but why would they say I took a thousand dollars?
LEIA
So, the insurance company will pay up. All I’ll do when you leave is hit a button, and the machine will print a receipt of sales for the cops. It’s bogus, the cops know it, but they don’t care.
MATT
Plus, then it’s grand larceny. You’ll do 10-to-15 years instead of spending a couple of nights in lockup.
CUSTOMER
Seriously.
(They all look at each other for a few moments.)
LEIA
Well, do you want the money?
CUSTOMER
I’ll take a pack of Marlboros, too.
(Leia puts a pack on the counter, and the Customer takes it and runs out)
MATT
I didn’t think he’d take it. Wait till he figures out that half of it was monopoly money.
LEIA
Grand larceny, where did you come up with that?
MATT
Hey, he bought it,
didn’t he?
LEIA
I guess I better call it in. Idiot. That guy comes here all the time and pays with his credit card. It’ll take them ten minutes to track him down.
(Matt goes back to mopping).
MATT
What if I bring Star Wars over to your place? We could do that on our first date.
LEIA
Keep dreaming.
(A new customer comes in, picks up a pack of gum and a candy bar.)
CUSTOMER #2
Can you break a hundred?
(Leia shakes her head).
