Time: 5:41 PM
Song: Lullaby
Artist: Shawn Mullins
Mode of Consumption: MP3 – Driving between Princeton and Dixon, IL listening to MP3s on shuffle from my phone.
Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/70L4pGAmYv0pTADrgsIxpI?si=6d42308a32d346fa
We’re coming back from Springfield, and Ty mentions this is a good song for him since most of it is spoken word.
I think back to a different car ride about twenty-plus years earlier when this song was playing.
It was a cold night, probably January or February, and I was driving a new girlfriend across Sterling. I don’t remember where we were coming from or where we were going. I imagine a group of us had or were going out to eat on a Friday or Saturday night, and that was the reason for the trip. It was probably one of the first times we’d been alone, at least alone in a situation where talking was the only option.
“Lullaby” came on and she mentioned liking the song. I don’t know if I said anything. I remember liking the song, but also that it was reaching a point of oversaturation on popular music radio stations, so I might have been getting tired with it.
I don’t remember being nervous, or tired, or anything. I just remember not having anything to say. Clearly, she didn’t know what else to say either. We had reached an impasse.
The reality is that I am quiet person. I don’t talk for the sake of talking. I might have been thinking about the song for all I remember. About the parties with Bob Seger and Sonny and Cher. I might have wanted to just sing along, but wasn’t that comfortable with this girl yet to sing in front of her. It’s possible I was thinking about a hundred of other things in my head, and frankly, wasn’t interested in finding out her opinion on them.
Or, I was just driving and not thinking. I remember the ride, but not what was going through my head.
Either way she noticed the quiet and drew a conclusion. I think I even got a message in the days following through a friend that she wanted me to talk more. Well, that just wasn’t me, and shortly thereafter, I was back on the dating market. (Not really, dating just wasn’t that high a priority for me as a teenager).
But I often wonder, what if I had something to say that night? Because, even as a quiet person, I do get in moods for witty banter or heartfelt conversation. Would that have made a difference?
Would we have dated months instead of weeks? Years instead of months?
I don’t believe it was a relationship destined for the long haul, but what ripples could that have caused, what different steps in my path.
Would I have ended up on a road between Princeton and Dixon in 2025 listening Shawn Mullins again?
No comments:
Post a Comment