Monday, May 19, 2025
Time: 7:45 AM
Song: If You Could Only See
Artist: Tonic
Mode of Consumption: Listening to MP3s on shuffle on the way to work.
Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/4KoNBTm9a55KgLMtEaf3n6?si=0caccbc05b9a4ef1
I have some of my best performances in my Jeep Renegade on the way to or back from work. A good, sappy song from the 90s usually gets me in the mood to sing along.
I sometimes wonder if I had actual musical talent, would I have learned the guitar in high school when a song like this was popular. Would I have sat in a hallway during lunchtime, or maybe out on the steps after school, strumming away and singing.
The real me would never have done that. While in certain situations I could be outgoing and perhaps even gregarious, usually at school I was quiet, and speaking in front of a class made me nervous, much less singing and playing an instrument. Although reading aloud didn’t bother me, but if I was delivering my own words, I got pretty nervous.
It’s not so bad now. But, I do tend to have a shake in my hands. I don’t know why. Even if I don’t feel nervous, the old hands shake in front of people. If it’s bad, I then will get nervous.
When I read my winning story for the Iron Pen Contest a few months ago in front of a room of attentive listeners, my hands started to shake. I hadn’t been nervous, but holding the shaking papers bothered me.
Then I started thinking about my hands more than my words. I worried about turning the pages when needed.
If I had been at my seat or a desk and reading that way, probably no issue.
I don’t know. It’s just something in my makeup, I guess. Probably means I’ll never be a rock star, or a Uke star, since that’s the instrument I’ve learned a little.
I like the idea of it. It’s sounds great as I drive to work. But it’s not me.
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