Wednesday, May 28, 2025
Time: 5:23 PM
Song: Get Off
Artist: The Dandy Warhols
Mode of Consumption: Listening to MP3s on shuffle on the way home from work.
Link to song: https://open.spotify.com/track/3vNuiCB9OirYFeO79MNQqZ?si=c4bf33b75b104485
I am a guy that simply fails to accomplish things that other guys do without a second thought. Maybe fail is too strong a word. I struggle to accomplish simple mechanical things. I might eventually find success, but it usually takes a few tries, some extra thinking, probably some swearing.
The latest example of this is taking the blades off our riding lawn mower. The last two nights I have lifted the front end of our John Deere x590 off the ground using a pulley we have installed in our shed.
Last night I spent a fair amount of time scrapping gunk (that’s the technical term) off the bottom of the mower deck before even trying to remove the blades.
There are three blades on the bottom of the yellow deck. Each blade is attached by a bolt. Simple enough, you say. Get the socket set out, find the correct socket, and then turn.
Well, maybe not. The blades spin when you do that. So, the only thing to do is grab the blades. This just feels wrong. Maybe in the back of my mind I worry that some alien comet will soar above the earth at that very moment just as it did in “Maximum Overdrive” and the mower will come to life on its own, the blades blurring at full speed, cutting my hands off at the wrist. Sometimes it’s bad to have an imagination.
Maybe I’m just not strong enough. Possible, especially laying on the ground, reaching under the deck, and trying to get enough torque to loosen the bolt. But have I grown this week in my middle age?
Well, I’ve also tried attaching sockets to two drills (one battery, one plug in), but that hasn’t yielded any results. If nothing else, it has increased my fear that the blades are going to whirl out of control and maim me.
I remember my father-in-law using an impact wrench on it. Do I need that? What would my father do? I bet he just used a socket or a wrench.
I’ve watched a video or two, one guy didn’t even jack up the front or back ends. Somehow, he reached under with the mower sitting level on the ground. I have to assume he has some sort of shrinking superpower.
Will I eventually get the blades off? Probably. Then it will be a matter of sharpening them, and then probably fighting to get them back on.
Again, I realize that somebody reading this will just be like, “What a dingus!”
I accept that.
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